Showing posts with label Out of Sorts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Out of Sorts. Show all posts

Sunday, September 23, 2012

Out of Sorts

I missed two challenges on Kimbers Challenge.  I was pretty sick last week and that I look at my posts and I just feel that was not me.  I also took on the Lifeables campaign and it was emotionally very difficult for me.  Next month is National Depression Awareness Month and I have to say I do have a story but not what you think a story of my recovery and current remission from depression.  I am diagnosed with major depressive disorder.  I have a serious condition that my brain does not produce enough serotonin, epinephrine, or norepenehrine for me to normal without medication.  My depression is totally chemical.  I have suffered from panic attacks since I was around seven years old.  A panic attack is terrible.  I haven't had one for over a year due to being on the right medication.  But right now, I have been struggling with my post traumatic stress disorder.  I have suffered so much trauma that I stuffed away that one day it did catch up to me.  So, doing the Lifeables was very hard and I did have an incident.  So, last week was pretty bad for me with a earache and not seeing my therapist, I did not have a good week.  I love doing the promotional ads because when my doctor does feel I can go back to work I cannot go back to what I made a career of which was that of a social worker and he said I can never go back to Law School.  So, besides being much older than other people entering the workforce.  I have to come up with a whole new career and I have chosen to be a freelance writer.  The more things I get published and paid for the better it is for my resume.  I just need to be selective of what campaigns I take and the Lifeables, let's just say I was not ready for.  I am going to get back to what I was doing.  I see other bloggers who just show swatches and have so many followers and I love to stamp and there is always a story behind it.  I tried something else and I did not like it.   So, I am going back to more stamping with stories behind some of the stampings and not just through out swatches all the time.  If you liked what you saw this week and want to see it all the time, I am sorry, you won't be seeing that all the time.  There has to be a balance for me and just swatching colors is not for me.  So, I am looking forward to tomorrow when I can create a couple of mani's and I do have a couple of polishes that I want to swatch.  So, I am coming back because it has depressed me just swatching.  I ended up ordering a lot of polish this week and I ordered the whole James Bond collection so I am dying for that to come in.  I just wanted to share this with you during National Depression Month I will post about recovery because if you are suffering from depression and think oh well it is just me, you are so wrong.  Life can be completely different.  I still get sad but that is normal, you just don't need to live like that all the time.
Ciao for now,